We've been together since 2001. I willingly followed when you quit your job, where we first met, and moved on to pursue a loftier goal of self-employment. You encouraged me through the highs and lows of wedding planning, being a newlywed, and then two back-to-back pregnancies.
But lately, I've come to resent being stood up, month after month, and ignored. I just can't take it any longer, and since it's unnatural for a girl to cut her own hair, I'm breaking up with you, dear stylist. If you must know, I've already cheated on you with someone else, but she just isn't as talented as you, and that makes me so sad. I've also started dyeing my own hair, something I thought I would never do, and you didn't even notice.
So, I've booked an appointment for this Saturday at a salon near my house. It's a little trendier than I'm used to, but I'm giving it a try, and I'm hopeful that things will work out. I'll always miss you and I wish you the best. I hope we can still be friends.
Update: So the new place is awesome and I think I found a new stylist! She's 21, covered in tattoos, and knows how to layer curly hair! She said she's got my back, so I've already booked a cut and color for my birthday next month. It was fun being pampered in a real salon again.