Friday, October 2, 2009

The Craft

I completely lack the crafty gene. My mother quilts, needlepoints, and embroiders. My sisters paint with pastels and watercolors, build headboards for king-size beds, refinish furniture, and produce lovely things out of thin air. My mother-in-law knits gorgeous scarves and afghans that keep us warm in the winter, and my sister-in-law designs her own cross-stitch patterns. My best friend made curtains for her house. I can do none of these things, and I will never be that mom who sews her son's costume for the school play. Sorry, Babycakes!

But every now and again, I get a small itch to do something remotely crafty. This time, I found a simple idea for apple yarn favors.

Now, when it comes to crafts, I am lazy and ill-suited for anything that takes much time or great effort, so this little gem was perfect for me. It's literally made of yarn and pipe cleaners, one step above lacing shoestring through pre-punched card stock, so how hard could it be? Look how sweet that little apple looks in those tiny hands! I imagined Babycakes playing quietly on the floor while I deftly rolled out apple after apple during a brisk fall afternoon. So, with my mother visiting for the day, we decided to head to Hobby Lobby to pick up the supplies.

I haven't visited that store since I needed frames for Babycake's nursery, because there is literally no reason for me to enter. My mother, on the other hand, was in crafter's heaven and quickly led me to the items I would need. On the way to the yarn, I did spy a strange-looking woman with knee-length hair and an enormous skirt, as she glanced through the dress patterns in the fabric area. I can't believe that some people still make their own clothes, and just going by her hair and the amount of fabric surrounding her feet, this woman was no expert. Seriously, lady, there are stores that sell skirts that fit, but whatever.

After lunch, my mother and I decided to attempt my little craft project, and because I'm lazy (have I mentioned that?) and don't use my laptop for its intended purpose as a sperm or egg cooker, I kept running back and forth from the kitchen table to the computer room to read the directions. We carefully followed the directions, but our little apples looked more like small balls of yarn with a pipe cleaner twisted at the top, and not like the precious treasures pictured on the website.

I was so disappointed and quickly lamented my failure at such a ridiculously easy task. Clearly, I am not cut out for even the simplest craft, and I should just stick to what I enjoy doing: reading, writing, cleaning, organizing, and above all, hanging out with Babycakes.

Later in the afternoon, after my parents left, I glanced again at the instructions, only to discover that, in my running back and forth, I had missed a crucial step in the process. Hopefully, with this step, I could transform our sad little yarn balls into beautiful little apple favors.

So, tonight, after Babycakes was rocked to sleep for the third time, I unwound the first batch and tried again. I'm happy to report that they look slightly better now, especially since I've arranged them in a basket, but I still think they have a very "kindergarten-arts-and-craft-class" look to them.

Oh well, I can always save the yarn and pipe cleaners for Babycakes, because, undoubtedly, he'll have the craft gene.