Sunday, January 6, 2008

"If You Can't Say Something Nice, Come Sit by Me"

Those of you who love me know "I'd rather walk on my face" than talk about a person, as they say in Steel Magnolias, but still, some things are just too good not to share. So here goes.

Today at church (where else?), I ran into a woman I hadn't seen in a while. I knew her daughter got married in December, so I asked about that. I also knew, after someone else told me, that the recent Bachelor, Brad Womack, was a guest at the wedding. When I mentioned this, she reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of him! Her own daughter's pictures are still at the photographer's, and she's passing around a photo of her famous guest. It was just too much! I mentioned something about him not being the brightest bulb in the bunch (I mean, come on!), and she said he's dating a friend of her daughter's, who was a bridesmaid in the wedding. I also mentioned (me and my big mouth) that I hope he's treating that girl better than those sweet, little, innocent girls on the show.

That's when she dropped the big one. Apparently, Bachelor Brad dated the bridesmaid before the show was filmed, but he still carries a pretty big torch for her. My friend at church, who has an even bigger mouth than I do (I swear!), said that Brad is still in love with the bridesmaid; thus, he was unable to decide between the real estate agent and the cheerleader, choosing to jerk them around on a platinum and diamond chain, instead.

So there you have it. The secret is out. Bachelor Brad is neither gay nor retarded (in the clinical sense of the word, of course). He is simply in love. This bridesmaid must be one heck of a woman to take him back after all of his adventures behind closed curtains. Or maybe she just wanted to stick it to the bride and knew he'd be available. It's not like he doesn't deserve it.