My Whole World

Since I'm changing things up around here, I decided to switch to a more personal header photo that captures a bit of my personality.  I love this picture more for what it represents than what it actually shows, and it was taken back in 2010 by Ryan while we were at Emma Long Park for his company picnic.

The scenery, with the flowing river, lush trees and grass, and hidden house, is lovely, and I really like how small James and I appear in the midst of it all.  He is so tiny, in his little hat, and I am leading him along as we gaze at the view together.  It's a sweet glimpse at a quiet moment between a mother and a son, and if you were there that day, you would have seen this, too.

That unmistakable bump is Rhys, who made his appearance two months later and completed our little family of four, in many wonderful ways.  Recently, we went back to this same location for another picnic, and it was fun to reflect on how much our lives have changed in just two short years.  And so I treasure the picture in the header, of my two sweet boys and me, taken by Ryan, since it represents my family and the promise of our future together.

Summertime Plants

My mother has always loved lavender products, but I never cared for the scent as a girl.  Now that I'm older and appreciate flowers more, I have also come to love the soapy, somewhat pungent smell of fresh lavender in many forms.  When we were in Blanco this past weekend, the home of Hill Country Lavender, I purchased a small pot of lavender to bring home.  Since this is the season for it to bloom, I'm hoping my little plant will do well.  I also brought home some lavender soaps in different scents, and I love putting them around my bedroom, in my dresser, and in the closet to lightly scent my clothing.  My mom taught me that trick, too.  And, of course, there's nothing better than the scent of lavender soap in the bathroom, which lasts long after your shower has ended.  Hill Country Lavender's festival is coming up in just a few short weeks if you'd like to buy some of your own.

My little lavender plant in a recycled pot from James' school.

Lovely lavender soaps.

I've been tending my plumbago plants for a while now and am so pleased at how quickly they've grown.  Though they come in several colors, I purchased the blue variety, and I like to think of them as a sort of poor man's hydrangea.  They are inexpensive, easy to care for, grow quickly, love the Texas heat, and offer such a pretty pop of color in the backyard.  So much easier than hydrangeas, which are gorgeous, but have to be carefully tended to produce flowering plants.

Plumbago in bloom.

I'm trying to get it to climb the fence, which it can be trained to do.

Reminiscent of hydrangeas.

And now that summer is unofficially here, with temperatures reaching the mid-90s in the afternoons, I'm using my trusty clothesline to dry laundry again.  I love seeing clothing drying on the line, and in the middle of summer, wet towels will literally dry within minutes, so there's no need to turn on the dryer at all.

My placemats look so pretty alongside the geraniums and begonia.

 

Memorial Day Memories

We spent the weekend visiting family and heading off for a mini-vacation to Blanco, Texas.  It was a busy, but fun and relaxing, weekend.  This week marks the end of James' first school year and the beginning of summer for us.  Here are a few highlights from our trip.

Elevator rides are always a blast!

The Texas hill country.

Another view beyond the hotel.

Roses at the hotel.

Please don't pick the flowers!

Enjoying the scenery.

Brieger Pottery, purveyor of Hill Country Lavender goods.

The Blanco Courthouse.

Wandering near the town square.

Wild thistles are always so pretty.

Texas wildflowers.

A lovely pergola.

The city park runs into Blanco State Park.

The Blanco River at the state park.

Happy Weekend!

This weekend we plan to visit family and take some time to smell the roses.  I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing long weekend, too.

Been There

The school year is almost over for James, and today was Splash Day.  He has waited all year for this day to come, and has been especially excited since the salesman at Stride Rite said the new sandals he tried on could be worn in water, "like for Splash Day at school."  Nice little sales tactic there, by the way. 

This morning, James jumped out of bed and asked for his swim trunks and his sandals.  He could not wait to get to school and splash, whatever that might entail.  So we left happily in anticipation of a wonderful day, with the promise of summer waiting just around the corner.

And then we saw it, the gigantic, inflatable water slide with a pool at the bottom, parked in the middle of the church's basketball court, just waiting for its littlest victims.  James kept a brave face and seemed excited by the slide, but I, if I'm being honest, immediately felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

See, James hates jumping castles and inflatable things.  Whether it's their size or the noise, or a combination of both, he has never had any desire to climb inside one and start jumping, the way most kids are drawn to them.  We get invitations to play dates and birthday parties at jumping places quite often, and sometimes we go, and sometimes we don't.  When we do attend, James and Rhys hang around my ankles for an hour while I half-heartedly attempt to coax them inside a jumping castle.  It's not any fun for me, with sweaty, screaming children, loud music blaring, and that funny feet smell you always encounter, so I kind of get why they don't really like the experience.  Add water to that combination, and it's a lot for a little guy to endure.  Still, I feigned excitement and left James with his classmates, half expecting a call to come pick him up early.

When I returned at the end of the day, his teacher immediately, and with some surprise in her voice, let me know that James did not enjoy Splash Day at all.  She was able to coax him down the slide exactly once, but then he refused to play in the pool at the bottom and did not want to run through the sprinklers with his classmates.  Instead, he chose to sit on his towel and watch.

And you know what?  That's okay.  I'm proud of James for trying the slide, because it looked really high and he must have been terrified.  He was able to conquer his fear long enough to try it and decide that it wasn't for him, and I think that's an honorable thing to do.  He didn't cry or throw a tantrum, but just sat out, in his quiet way, much like me when I was little.

I was the kid who had training wheels way past everyone else, who held onto the wall at Skateland birthday parties, and who was terrified of learning to drive.  Pools are not my thing, either, and swimsuit season doesn't bother me in the least because I just don't buy one.  I turned out okay (I think?), even if I do march to a drum that nobody else can hear. 

James did what he wanted to do, and was confident in his decision.  I can respect his wishes, and I told him he can skip Splash Day next year if he really wants to.  No harm done.

When Ryan came home tonight, he asked James how his day was, and he said, "Great!  I didn't like the slide."  Just like that.

He's over it already and looking forward to his last day of school.

What Works For Me: Solvere Acne Clearing Products

I've always had oily skin, but it didn't truly become acne-prone until I was trying to conceive my first baby.  And since I've been either breastfeeding or pregnant since 2008, I've had to be extremely careful with the types of acne products I can safely use.  Prescription-strength azelaic acid works fairly well and is safe while pregnant and breastfeeding, but it doesn't completely eliminate my hormonal breakouts.  Since my dermatologist told me to come back when I'm not nursing and she'll prescribe something stronger, I've been on the search for a cleanser that will help prevent breakouts while not irritating my sensitive skin.

I've tried my fair share of acne cleansers over the years, from mail-order clubs to department store brands, and everything in between.  Dermatologists recommend using only a mild cleanser or bar, but I've found that I need something stronger to stay acne-free.  I can't remember how I ran across it, but Solvere Acne Clearing Cleanser has solved most of the issues I had with other cleansers.  It contains 2% salicylic acid, the amount considered most helpful when treating acne, and since I just put it on and rinse right away, there's no residue settling into my skin, so it's safe while breastfeeding.  (Large amounts of salicylic acid, in the topical form like a peel or taken orally, are not recommended during pregnancy.)

Solvere's cleanser is extremely thick, almost the consistency of shampoo, so a little goes a long way.  I also find that, because of the acid, I only need to use it at night, and then I just wash my face with a much gentler cleanser like Cetaphil in the morning.  I'm also a fan of Solvere's Fortified Moisturizer, which is rich and creamy without blocking pores.  Both products help to prevent breakouts and I'm really thrilled with their performance.  Plus, they are comparable in price to drugstore brands and come in large quantities, so they are very easy on your wallet.

It took me a long time to find the right products for my skin and my current state of motherhood, but these really work for me, and I hope they might help you, too.

ACL 2012

The line-up for Austin City Limits Music Festival 2012 was released today, and man, it is amazing!  I actually won VIP tickets to the first festival in 2002, and back then, it was small, unassuming, and lots of fun. 

It has since grown to become an internationally known music festival, and though I don't enjoy crowds, I kind of want to go again this year.  You can check out the full line-up here, which includes Jack White, Gotye (see my earlier post on him), Jack White, The Shins, Rufus Wainwright, Jack White, Die Antwoord, Jack White, Ruthie Foster, and Asleep at the Wheel.

And did I mention Jack White?

Pops of Pink

"Pink is my signature color," declared Shelby, the main character in Steel Magnolias, and that is a sentiment I share with the sweet Southern belle.  Since redoing our home in more neutral shades last winter, I find myself craving brighter colors as hot weather approaches.

This post from Front & Main, West Elm's design blog, inspired me to take the plunge and inject some pops of pink and coral around the house again.  I found these pillow covers and this rug on their site, and used my Design Dollars to spruce up our rooms for summer. 

These flamingo pillows are so much fun for summer.

I paired the pillows with a pink throw made by Ryan's mom and put one on each couch.  The boys love how shiny and smooth the fabric is, and since they are washable, the covers are child-proof.

The pillows, with the ottoman strategically placed to keep Rhys away from the lamp.

The Ditsy rug in the kitchen, alongside my pink toes.

Then, I dug out my pink placemats purchased from Crate and Barrel years ago and added those to the table in our breakfast nook.

The mats with a vase of geraniums and more flowers in the window.

All the pink touches brighten things up and coordinate well with the hot pink geraniums hanging on the patio.

Personally, I can never have too much pink, but these little bits are fun in a house filled with boys.

Stepping Out

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm trying to take a bit of a different approach with my blog by trying new things outside my comfort zone.  I ran across this class the other day, and decided that it might be a fun challenge for me this summer.  Since the topics are published online and only require about three hours of time a week, I can easily work in my spare time when the boys are sleeping, or on weekends, when Ryan takes them off my hands for a while.

I'm looking forward to learning new things (like how to take better pictures) and stepping out of my shell a little.

My Girl in the Garden

I love artistic images of the female figure, and if you've been to my house, you know I have my fair share of nudes floating about.  Most of them are tastefully displayed in my bedroom, and when one of the boys points to a Renoir bather and says, "Mommy," I take it as a compliment because she is so beautiful.

I'm also really fond of the French Santos that are so popular in decorating right now, only because I love how rustic and simple they are.  They don't hold any religious significance for me, and I just enjoy their quiet beauty.  Most of these are quite expensive and antique pieces are true collectors' items.

Recently, I was lucky enough to find a Santos-style figure for sale at Joss and Main for a bargain, so I had to order her.  She arrived very quickly and, though I had planned to place her on my mantle, she is very tall (nearly 18 inches), and looked out of place there.  I chose instead to let her live among the plants in my entryway, and she seems to be enjoying her home there, so far.

A closeup.

Watching over my plants.

Revisions

My youngest sister just finished her requirements to earn her teaching certificate (Congrats to her!), and I realized that it was almost time to renew my own teaching certificate.  I haven't taught in a school district since 2003, and I haven't taught in a classroom setting since 2008, when James was born.  So, when I logged onto the state education site, I wasn't surprised to see that I'm not eligible to renew my certificate without 150 clock hours of continuing education classes.  Since Bradley classes and online webinars probably don't count, I have to let go of my teaching certificate, which I always thought of as a little cushion.  It was in the background, not being used at the moment, but there just in case I might need it.

And then I realized that I have now been a mother longer than I ever taught, and that struck me as so appropriate.  I am doing exactly what I always planned, hoped for, and dreamed about.  While I always knew I wanted to teach, in some form or another, I took a very roundabout approach to finding my niche in life.  But with becoming a mother, it was just something I knew I would do.  And I have, and I love it.

Sure, I'm in a bit of a tight spot these days as my sweet little babies turn into rough and tumble boys before my eyes.  I'm learning how to navigate the ropes of being a boys' mom when I am such a quiet girly-girl.  But, day by day, I'm doing it.  As they grow and mature, I'm growing alongside them, and I'm really working hard at taking care of myself, too, in different ways.

Since I can't, or don't, really think of myself as a teacher these days (besides teaching my little guys how to become respectable human beings), maybe I'll focus more on writing and this blog.  It's become such an outlet for me, and I've always written, in some form or another.  This summer, I'm challenging myself a bit with an online class that, hopefully, will help jump start my creative juices.  More on that later.

So, I'm tweaking things here and there, adding and subtracting this and that.  If things look weird or different on this site, just be patient with me and know it won't last forever.  Or maybe it will.

When I was in college, one of my English professors really believed in revision as the ability to "see again" with fresh eyes, and I always tried to impart that wisdom to my own students.  I'm definitely in a state of revision right now, working hard on the final draft.

Little Things

This is the view from my backyard today.  Even in the pouring rain, the Rose of Sharon is so lovely and vibrant.  The blooms don't last long, so we enjoy them while they are here.

This arrived in the mail today, and the packaging is so lovely that I had to save it.  The rouge reminds me of the kind my grandmother used to wear, and a dab to the cheeks and lips is enough to make you blush all day long.  The line is created by a cosmetics historian who loves the elegance of bygone eras, so I had to try it.

* * *

After school, James was watching PBS' "Martha Speaks," about a dog who ate alphabet soup, which traveled to her brain, enabling her to talk.  I thought I recognized the voice of Jennifer Westfeldt, who is the real-life partner of Jon Hamm.  A few minutes later, a character named "Ham" appeared, and sure enough, both Westfeldt and Hamm were making a guest appearance on the show, along with their real-life dog, Cora.  Though I recognized Westfeldt's voice and animated character right away, John Hamm threw me a bit.  He didn't sound like Don Draper at all (too bad!), and I think the animators drew him more like a young Kyle MacLachlan.  See for yourself here, though we saw a re-run, so I don't know if the second episode will air again tomorrow.

Facelift

When we bought our house back in 2005, one of the first things we fell in love with were the trees in the front yard.  There are two large Texas ash trees that offer lots of shade year-round, as well as two cedar trees flanking either side of our front porch.  A friend said it gave our home a kind of "English cottage" quality, and I liked the privacy the trees offered, too.

Inspection Day, November 2005.

But as the Texas weather has become more dramatic over the years, those cedars began to take on a life of their own, kind of like that plant, Audrey, in Little Shop of Horrors.  Remember that blood-thirsty thing?  Our trees didn't require human blood to thrive, exactly, but they did start to grow quickly during the rainy seasons, just as the backs, which got almost no sun at all against the brick, were beginning to die, leaving long, sharp branches in their wake.  It got so bad that, before people came to our house, Ryan or I would quickly trim the lowest parts of the tree so nobody would lose an eye on the way to our front door.

The cave, as Ryan called it.

Since this year has been particularly wet, the cedars transformed into gigantic, green monsters, blocking all light and literally taking over the front of our house.  Anytime I tried to put plants on the porch, they began to die from lack of sun.  Finally, after much debate, we decided that the cedars simply had to go.  Though they were growing at an alarming rate, they were also dying (see that brown spot on the left), and would just have to be removed.

So today, our little house got a much-needed facelift, and we are so pleased with the results.  We've never actually seen the front of our house before, because it was always hidden from view, and it looks so different to us.  The cedars and a few other bushes were replaced with native, drought-resistant plants that should do well in the brutal Texas summer.  And we've promised James that the new trees will never become as big and scary as those cedars.

Our new front porch.

Another view of the front.

In TIME for Mother's Day

This is the cover of TIME Magazine, which is on newsstands tomorrow.  It's obviously going to cause controversy just as everyone in the country is taking their mother out to lunch at a crowded restaurant Sunday afternoon.  And, honestly, who cares?

I'm not going to write a post about the joys of extended breastfeeding, but let's just say I've done that.  And this.  And I'm still doing this.  And it works for my family and me.  But it's definitely not for everyone, and I most definitely respect that.

I just wish it wasn't meant to shock, and that these moms would not be judged so harshly, especially as we celebrate motherhood this weekend.  Like I've said before and will say again, they are doing what's best for their children and themselves, and you can't find fault in that.

But they are not better than other moms, though the article's title might imply that.  Motherhood is not a competition, even if it sometimes feels that way, and there is no gold medal to be won.  Just children to love and time to spend together on a special day. 

And on a lighter note, look what James made me for Mother's Day, with a little help from his teachers.  I am most impressed. 

Happy Mother's Day!  I hope it is a wonderful one for you.

Goodbye to Maurice Sendak

Maurice Sendak passed away today after complications from a stroke, and the world has lost a wonderfully talented writer of children's literature.  My sisters and I grew up reading his books, and I want my boys to find that same sense of wonder and excitement that we experienced while pouring over Outside Over There and Where the Wild Things Are, both of which still send shivers up my spine.  (Who lets their child wear a WOLF suit?)

Here is a wonderful tribute to Mr. Sendak, who is now where the wild things are. 

Too School For Cool

I can't stop thinking about this piece.  I really appreciate her honesty, especially considering that she is incredibly successful and has a large online following.  It's a good reminder that we all are human and suffer from our own perceived inadequacies, whatever they might be, and it ties in nicely with my post about motherhood a few days ago.

Her story reminded me of my own experiences in high school, a time I haven't thought about in many years.  I was always really smart and really shy, and hid amongst the fringes of the Advanced Placement kids at school.  I was a good writer, and my teachers would sometimes read my essays (anonymously, thank goodness) to the class, but other than that, I didn't really stand out.

I always struggled a bit with math, but could usually do well if I applied myself.  When registering for senior-year classes, I had the choice between Pre-Calculus, which most of my peers were taking, if they weren't among the cream of the crop in AP Calculus, or the more practical, but embarrassing, Math of Money, which focused on real-life skills like interest rates, mortgage, stocks, car payments, budgets, etc. Too proud to admit that I probably wasn't cut out for Pre-Calculus, I signed up for it and muddled through the first weeks and months.  I already knew that I wanted to be an English teacher, and I knew that I would never need the skills I was supposed to learn in this math class.

When I was in fourth grade, we were supposed to memorize all of the states and their capitals so we could label them on a blank map of the United States, and I remember thinking, as a nine-year-old, what a complete waste of time this was, since, if I ever needed to locate a state or its capital, I could just pull out a map and look at it.  So, when everyone else was studying for the test, I was playing outside.  Of course, I failed, and I didn't even care.  My grades were good enough to pull me through, and, as I predicted, it has never really mattered that I can't identify New Hampshire on a map.

That was definitely my attitude when it came to Pre-Cal, so I wasn't really surprised when I failed the third six weeks.  This was my senior year of high school, though, and nothing like this had ever happened in my academic career before.  I was pretty devastated, and since I was academically ineligible to participate in extracurricular events, I had to miss one of my beloved speech tournaments, which meant everyone (or, the five people in my speech class) discovered my huge mistake.

What's hilarious about this story is that, not only did I immediately switch to Math of Money, where I sat among gang members and learned real-world skills, like how to balance a checkbook, but I also spent the entire rest of the year praying that none of my fellow AP students found out which math class I was actually taking.  Also ironic is the fact that I was already dating Ryan, who was in the AP Calculus class, and who would have been an amazing tutor, if only I had asked.  Pride definitely comes before a fall, and I learned that lesson the hard way.

 ***

Then today, I read this story, and it reminded me again of my old high school days.  I also, much to my own surprise, really enjoyed dissection in Freshman Biology.  At the end of the year, we dissected a fetal pig, which is supposed to look very much like a human body on the inside, and it was absolutely fascinating.  Our teacher asked us to remove the entire small intestine and stretch it out to its full length, and since my group's pig had the longest intestine, well over six feet, we won a bag of candy!  Talk about cool.

And, much like the girl in the story, a female student at my school also removed the head of her poor, dissected pig, stuck it on a ruler, and paraded it around the classroom, Lord of the Flies style.  And who says teenagers have no imagination?

Later, as we sat in our class labeling the parts of the pig on a diagram, the cute boy in front of me turned and asked if I could help figure out a body part he forgot to label on his pig.  I looked down at my diagram, took a deep breath, gathered my courage, and said, "That's the vagina," because it was, and I decided not to be embarrassed about something as basic as a body part in Biology class.

***

I also read that Shaquille O'Neal earned his doctorate in education yesterday, and that impressed me very much.  It seems he's been hard at work since he retired from the NBA, and as someone who struggled to write my master's thesis, I have nothing but respect for anyone who completes a doctoral program.  It is a long and arduous task, one I realized I am not equipped to tackle, and they usually give you seven years to complete it.  I'm also partial to Shaq because he went to high school in my hometown of San Antonio.  Congratulations, Dr. O'Neal!

Curly Girl Tip

I embraced my curly hair a long time ago, mostly because I'm lazy and refuse to blow-dry or straighten it, especially in the heat of the Texas summer.  Whenever my stylist gives me straight hair, everyone oohs and ahhs, but it just doesn't feel like me.  Currently, I'm trying to grow out the bob I've had for several years in favor of just a tiny bit more length.  Since I started highlighting my hair last year in another attempt to hide my grays, I've noticed that my hair seems dryer and frizzier, too.

So, searching for a way to fix this problem, I ran across this article and decided to give it a try.  I always wrap my hair up while I get dressed in the morning, so how hard would it be to try a t-shirt instead of a towel?

Well, I'm pleased to report that it worked and I'm enjoying the results so far.  My hair is much curlier, less frizzy, and holds product well.  I'd post a photo, but I hate having my picture taken.  Maybe I'll work up the nerve later this week.  In the meantime, here's hoping this new trick helps my hair hold moisture during the hottest days of summer.

It's Hard Out There For a Mom

Today was one of those days where things just didn't click, and I was feeling pretty down about myself and motherhood in general.  One of those days where the boys fought too much, there were too many tears, not enough toys, and I turned the television on just to pacify everyone for a bit.  I was feeling down.  And then I read a particular blog post from a well-known mommy/crafter, and it made me feel terrible.  I'm sure that was not the intent at all, but man, if it didn't sting.  And it doesn't matter what the post was or where it came from, because I'm sure we've all read something like that before, that really got under our skin and stayed with us, long after it was supposed to.

As Mother's Day approaches, I've been thinking a lot about motherhood, and what it truly means to be a mom these days.  This isn't so much about having and raising children, but about assuming the role of mother and what that looks like in 2012.  And the truth is, it's really hard.  And long.  And, dare I say it, boring.

And before anyone doubts my love for my children, let me just say that I love them with all my heart and would gladly give up my life for them in an instant.  But that does not make me perfect or lessen the tedium that comes with rearing young children.  I'm at the point now where our family is complete, and I know without a doubt that I do not want more children.  For me, one child was easy and I joyfully jumped into becoming a full-time, stay-at-home, cloth-diapering, breastfeeding mom with both feet.  But two, well, to be perfectly honest, having two children is kicking my butt more than just a little, and I think it's okay for me to admit that.

As if juggling two little boys and their separate demands isn't enough, I've also had a taste of the infamous Mommy Wars, which is not a game I like to play.  Not long ago, I attempted to join a local Mom's group, and as I filled out the questionnaire, I was asked if I had a college degree, if so in what, and from what school.  Seriously, what does this have to do with getting our children together for a playdate?  And I know someone who was warned, when she moved to a new neighborhood, to avoid her park at a specific time and day, because that's when a certain parenting group had their playtime, and they had a reputation for being, umm, difficult.

I've also sat and listened as mothers were slammed for returning to work, for hiring a sitter two days in one week, for having a second baby too close to the first, for deciding not to have a second baby, Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera.  What this tells me is that, first, we can't win for losing, and second, we should all just give up and stop judging one another for doing what works for us.  As cliche as it sounds, parenthood really is about doing what's best for you and your child, and nobody else gets to have an opinion, period.

In the era of Facebook, blogs, and Pinterest, it's easy to fall into the trap of oversharing, and with that comes the need to always put your best foot forward.  I know I do it, and it's so tempting to paint a perfect picture while you're the one crafting the details of your life, when, in reality, nothing is perfect.  We all know this, but sometimes it's nice to get a reminder.

Like I said, I love my boys with every fiber of my being, but sometimes, or often these days, they get on my last nerve.  It's hard to constantly put your needs behind those of others, especially when doing so involves things you don't normally like to do.  I'm the first to admit that I'm a homebody, and my idea of a perfect day involves lots of lying on the couch reading, watching movies, and taking a nap.  There's not much time for that with two active boys, and they spend much of their day outside, playing at the park, riding bikes up and down the sidewalk, running around the yard, digging in dirt, swimming in their pool, taking nature walks, and just milling around in the grass.  It doesn't come easy for me to even be outside, especially as the temperature is rising, so it takes everything I have to do this, knowing that it's best for them.  Come naptime, I am so mentally exhausted that I normally crash upon the couch while they sleep in their rooms, and their calls upon waking act as my alarm clock.

Sometimes, I'm so brain-dead by 5:00 pm that dinner consists of popcorn while the boys watch a kid-friendly show or takeout from a fast food restaurant.  To stay sane, I often employ a sitter to watch Rhys while James is at school, and this is when I do one of three things: go to the doctor, get a massage, or get my hair done.  I used to feel guilty about the massage and the hair, but they make me feel so good that, now, I don't even think twice, and schedule my massages once a month and my hair appointment every six weeks (boy, do my roots need it!).  And this summer, when James is out of school and we've got hours and hours of unstructured playtime looming before us, I'm hiring my sitter twice a week for a few hours, just to give us all a change of pace.  I'm also putting Rhys in school two days a week next fall, if he will agree to it, and I'm planning to make the most of those quiet hours.  It's what works for me, and I refuse to feel guilty for that. I realize that I'm incredibly blessed to have the financial stability to stay home with my boys, and I'm grateful for this opportunity, but I have to take care of myself, too.

There's a famous saying that is often used when a new mother gives birth, "A happy mom equals a happy baby," and I believe that little piece of wisdom most definitely applies as your children grow older.  If working, whether full or part-time, gives you a sense of worth, then go for it.  If crafting gets you excited, so you can face the day in a better mood, then that's awesome, too.  I say, find what works for you and do it.  You will be happy and so will your children, and that's what mothering is really about.

And besides, who cares what Miss Hotsy Totsy did on her blog?  You are doing what you love, for those you love, and that is all that really matters.

Jackie After O

Tina Cassidy's new book, Jackie After O: When Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Defied Expectations and Rediscovered Her Dreams, was released today and I can't wait to read it!  Cassidy, who is fond of long titles, is a well-known natural birth advocate and author of Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born, which I read both before and after my first c-section.  That work was incredibly well-researched and fascinating to read, and I have no doubt that this piece will be the same.  It would make a wonderful gift for Mother's Day, which is just around the corner.